How to help your child deal with failure?

We all have heard that failure is necessary. Have u thought why? Modern culture is so focused on success or perfection that sometimes we miss the benefits of failure. Failure is a necessary part of learning and growth. It evolves children and helps them learn crucial life skills before society suppresses them with external beliefs. Although it is a natural part of living, failure can produce painful feelings such as frustration, anger, decreased confidence, and low self-esteem in a child. However, instead of letting your child fear failure, you can help them look at it as a learning opportunity.




Here are a few ways to help your child deal with those dreary feelings positively-


  • Talk to your child : Talking to your child and helping him/her identify the emotions they are going through gives them a better understanding to express themselves. Allow them to talk about what happened and why they think things didn’t go the way they wanted or expected them to go. Give them undivided attention when they speak. It helps them understand that their voice matters too.


  • Redefining success and failure: Redefining success means that we must be aware and accept that every child learns differently and at a different pace. Some of them may take more time to understand certain concepts as compared to others. If your child takes an hour to read a story, extend the time limit next time so that he can complete the entire story without any pressure.


  • Set realistic expectations: Setting the bar unreasonably high lets your child think about perfectionism, or worse, causes your child to avoid new challenges altogether. Parents should make sure to tell their children that you expect them to try their best, not that they must always be on the top. Relax and lay off the pressure to excel at everything. You could assign them tasks that help them to reach their personal best. E.g.: If your child can create an apple with play dough, the next time, ask him to make an apple tree.


  • Validate your child’s emotions : When children face failure, parents move to problem-solving without being sensitive to their feelings. Parents can start by showing empathy to their children by acknowledging the emotions that they are going through. After this, it may be helpful to suggest activities or methods that may help your child deal with disappointment and learn from them.


  • Allow your child to explore their strengths: Every child has different strengths that make him/her unique. We should acknowledge their innate talents and gifts. Though your child may not have won the music competition, the fact that he applauded the other contestants is what matters.


  • Praise your child often: Aim to have more positive interactions with children rather than negative ones. When parents demotivate their children about not scoring well in a test, it lets them develop the notion that failure makes you a bad person. You need to constantly reassure your child that though he has not secured well, you are proud that he tried and love him no matter what. It increases their confidence and also helps boost self-esteem.




Winston Churchill once said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” If a person is willing to look past his mistake, dust it off with courage and learn from it, nothing else can put him down. Just like that, if your little one gathers the courage and makes an effort to learn from the mistakes, there is nothing that can stop him from flying high above the clouds.


Jumpstart Preschool